It’s alivvvve!  It’s alivvvve!  Do you remember that line in the Monster Frankenstein movie; it’s alive?  You know, it’s alivvvve!  Well, Republicans created and nurtured a monster during Donald J. Trump’s tenure as The Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and now it is completely out of control.  Now, they keep trying to put it into the coffin so that they can nail it shut, bolt it shut, wrap a few heavy chains around it and place strong padlocks on it to assure that he will not escape but they can’t.

They can’t because every time that they think that they have him in there, press the lid down and try to begin to nail it shut, ole Frankie stretches his arms out and pushes it open.  Republicans, especially coffin-workers, SCREAM and jump backward away from the coffin!  Then, when Frankenstein appears to simply be readjusting himself so that he can be more comfortable and does not climb all the way out of his coffin, the coffin-workers cautiously approach again and repeat their effort to seal Frankie’s fate.

So far, Republicans’ efforts to contain Frankie haven’t been productive.  How does one know that these efforts have not been fruitful?  Here’s how.  After all of the notes that they nailed to the doors at his home and the messages that they have incessantly promulgated via the media saying that they do not want him to run for reelection in 2024, and he should not announce – especially right after the midterm election, that he will run; Mr. Trump announced – right after the midterm election, that he will run for president in 2024.  The monster that they created because they believed that they could control him and use him to secure the Republican agenda is completely out of control.  It’s alivvvve!  It’s alivvvve!

But Republicans are really angry now so they are very strongly denouncing Mr. Trump whenever they are asked by the media whether they think that he should be president again and or if they would support him if he were the Republican nominee in 2024.  They are getting on any news shows throughout the country that will accept them and saying things like, the Republican Party has better choices than Donald Trump for 2024, the American people can reject Donald Trump in an effort to move away from divisiveness, I think that’s up to the American people, and well, there might be somebody else I’d prefer more.  While all of these comments were made by one Republican, former Vice President Mike Pence, comments coming from other elected Republican officials are either just as weak or not much stronger.  None of them are willing to directly denounce him.

In the meantime, because Mr. Trump is well aware of what these Republicans are trying to do to him and also knows that he is still facing multiple investigations some of which could ultimately involve criminal charges, he is using these – as he calls them – witch-hunt investigations and the fact that he has announced that he is running for president in 2024 to label himself as a victim.  Okay, now we have it; Mr. Trump is a “victim!”  This is his strategy.  He has implied victimhood for a long time but now that he has actually proclaimed it via his announcement to run for president in 2024, the victimhood strategy is no longer opaque, it is out in the open.

Having done this, it remains to be seen what Mr. Trump will do next.  However, his Republican sycophants in the House – having signaled for a long time now what they would do should they win the House in 2022 – are making their intensions clearer.  Like Mr. Trump who decided to clear things up now that he has declared that he will run for president in 2024, they want to be sure that Republican constituents understand exactly what they intend to do:  Attorney General Garland, retain all documentation regarding your investigation of Mr. Trump.  Hunter Biden, prepare for a reckoning.  Biden White House staff and Cabinet members, prepare to be investigated, they say!

Now that the air has been cleared so that everyone understands exactly what it is that Republicans are going to do once they take control of the House, Frankie does the Frankenstein walk – there’s nothing wrong with him physically, he just walks that way – back to his coffin and settles in again.  But for how long, nobody knows.  But there is little doubt that he will not allow anyone to nail his coffin shut…and bolt it…and wrap it with heavy chains secured with heavy padlocks.

Once Frankie is comfortably settled in, his sycophants – an oversize coffin had to be built for this purpose – scramble into spaces all around him sort of like a huge human cushion.  This not only protects him from bumping into the hard interior of his coffin while he is inside, but whenever he climbs out of it and they scramble out along with him, they cushion him from the onslaught of things like, let’s say, all of the ongoing investigations that he is caught up in and all kinds of questions from the media.  Questions like, why are you doing and saying all of the asinine things that you are doing and saying while you are already in enough trouble?  Wouldn’t it be better to just be quiet?

Anyway, once Frankie has settled into his coffin and has been well cushioned, the Republicans – especially the coffin workers, wait until things have grown quiet inside it before they once again cautiously approach it.  They cautiously and quietly place the lid on the coffin, press it down firmly and some of them hold it down while others with hammers and nails prepare to nail it shut.  But before a single nail has been struck, Frankie places his hands against the inside of the lid, pushes upward and stiffens his arms.  The Republicans, especially the coffin workers, SCREAM and jump backward away from the coffin.

This commotion startles the sycophants and so awakens them.  They begin to make all of these unique sycophant noises – which sounds cannot be expressed in writing; you have to hear them – and prepare to swing into action to shield Frankie.  But false alarm.  Frankie simply says, no one had better run against me to force a primary in 2024.  I’ll bury them!  The sycophants make more unique sycophant noises.  Then Frankie says, and you better not try to nail this coffin shut or secure it in any way!  If you do, I’ll bury you!  And he lays down again.  The sycophants make a few more unique sycophant noises before they too lay down, assume their assigned spaces and cushion him.  This further frightens the Republicans, especially the coffin workers, and they jump backward even further away from the coffin…  It’s alivvvve, it’s alivvvve, they say!

Epilogue

Hopefully, during these extremely stressful times and extraordinary circumstances in the history of our young country, a bit of humor will provoke a laugh that will relieve some of that stress; even if only for a brief moment.  Then – hopefully, all Americans, whether we are Democrats, Republicans or Independents will take a deep breath and continue the fight to keep our republic.  And finally – hopefully, we the people will resolve to settle any differences that we might have, no matter how great or how small, through reasonable discourse and not violence.

Eulus Dennis – author, Operation Rubik’s Cube and Living Between The Line